The Sting of Secret Discipleship

Week 13, Wednesday

Susie Hawkins

Nevertheless even among the rulers many believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees they did not confess Him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God. John 12:42-43 (nkjv)

Despite Jesus’ miracles, His message did not result in faith among many of the Jews. Often we think that if unbelievers could just experience a true miracle, then surely they would believe. But men’s hearts are hard, and even those who saw Lazarus raised from the dead did not believe, but began to earnestly plot Christ’s death (see John 11:45-57). In John 12:37-50 we see that there were those who did believe but would not openly confess their faith—they were “secret disciples.” The reason for their secrecy is found in verse 43: “They loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.”

Their position in the religious community would be risked if they openly professed faith in Christ. Surely their public denial of their secret faith was a great sorrow for Jesus. We are often quick to condemn these religious leaders, but have we not done the same? Haven’t we at times denied Jesus in front of others because we, too, love the praise of men more than the praise of God?

In John 19:38-40, Scripture says that after Jesus’ death, Joseph of Arimathea, another secret disciple, approached Pilate and asked for Jesus’ body. Nicodemus, who had come to Jesus secretly at night (see John 3:1-2; 7:50), met Joseph and they anointed His body for burial, according to Jewish law. Despite their previous denial of Jesus, they were willing to go to Pilate for permission to care for His body. This detail of the story is encouraging to those of us who have too often been “secret disciples” ourselves. Despite our failures, God always provides a way for redemption, a second chance (or third or fourth) for us to openly express our love for Jesus.

Am I a secret disciple? Am I fearful to confess my faith in Christ because of my concern for what others may think of me? The reader can’t help but wonder how Joseph and Nicodemus felt on Sunday!

Lord, please forgive me for being a secret disciple at times. It is my wretched pride that wants to glory in myself, rather than in You. Help me to never be ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God unto salvation (see Romans 1:16). May my heart be so filled with praise and worship for You that I care not what others may think of me. Amen.