When Sadness & Sorrow Bubble Up – Part 1

When Ministry and Personal Life Collide

“I think you are depressed.” It’s what one friend said to me a few days ago.

Me? I thought – NO, I’m just sad. Deeply sad. 

When ministry life – the work right in front of you and your personal life collide – you know those things no one knows or can know. How and when do we process our pain?

Processing pain and sorrow is essential for a ministry wife to continue in a healthy ministry life. It’s vital to living a “normal” life. Learning to turn to the only ONE who will see us through the pain must be a priority.

I’ve been reading through Psalm 34, and this week and next, let’s look at what I believe the Lord has been showing me. 

“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!” — Psalm 34:8

As a ministry wife, you and I live in the unique space between personal faith and public service. Our roles often come with deep joys, but also silent struggles—unspoken burdens, unseen sacrifices, and expectations that feel impossible to meet.

Psalm 34 offers a powerful reminder that no matter the challenges of ministry, God is your refuge, your sustainer, and your deliverer. David, the writer of this psalm, knew what it meant to feel overwhelmed and desperate for God’s help. He penned these words after fleeing for his life and pretending to be insane before a foreign king (1 Samuel 21:10-15). In his distress, he turned to worship, declaring the goodness of God even amid hardship.

This psalm invites us as ministry wives: Come, taste, and see that the Lord is good. Let Him be your refuge in every season. (Even if it’s a hard, dry, or sad season.)

Praise in Every Season

“I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth.” — Psalm 34:1

One of the hardest aspects of ministry is learning to worship through every season. There are times when serving is full of joy—souls are being saved, the church is thriving, and your husband is encouraged. But there are also seasons of discouragement—conflict arises, attendance drops, critics speak, and your family feels drained.

During some of the joy in our service, we can have a family crisis or even our own crisis of belief. We could struggle with a family loss, a wayward child, trouble in our marriage, or the weariness of pressing on in the ministry life, where there seems never to be enough time or money.

David chose: “I will bless the Lord at all times.” His worship is not based on circumstances but on who God is. Our hearts must be anchored in the same truth. Even when ministry is tough, and your personal life seems like it’s falling apart, God is still good. He is still faithful. He is still working. Worship shifts our focus from frustration to faith, from trials to trust.

I have a friend, an accountability partner who, over the years, has encouraged me with her heartfelt, direct, straight from the Word voice, and she would say to me, “Girl, you need to get your praise on!”

• Do you find it easy or difficult to praise God in hard seasons?
• How can you cultivate a heart of worship even in ministry challenges?

In the middle of it all – when it’s bubbling up and you can’t stop it any longer – can you worship? Clear the space and have yourself a good cry. Have yourself a fit. Just get it all out!

Weep and grieve until there are no more tears. 

Psalm 56:8 You keep track of all my sorrows.

You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

You have recorded each one in your book. (NLT)

The truth concerning my situation is that I made choices early in my ministry life that have turned out for God’s glory and my good. I am so deeply grateful for His grace and mercy. If my choice had been different, we would not be having this conversation. I would not be in this glorious ministry life of mine.

Sadly, there are others in my family who did not make the same choices as I did, and their choices are grievous to me. I will grieve for those who I will forever miss, and I will be sad – I loved them so much. Then I will wipe my tears, stand to my feet, and speak of the goodness of my Father. Praying that God will use me to point others to the One who gave His life a ransom for me.

What will you do? Let it come and process these emotions, and then, Sisters, we need to get our praise on!