In Times of Uncertainty

By:  Denise Gerst

As Pastors’ wives, we serve in a unique role.  The expectations placed upon us can lead us to a place of uncertainty.  There are times when we feel overwhelmed, singled out or have unrealistic expectations placed upon us.  Criticism and scrutiny can add to feelings of uncertainty.  The Prophet Jeremiah wrote in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, sayeth the Lord, thought of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”  God already has plans for us.  The standards and unrealistic expectations should not be our goal.  He should be our goal.  His plans and his thoughts toward us is what we should focus our attention.  All else is unworthy of our attention.  When I have become uncertain, I check my focus.  Who am I attempting to please?  What goal am I trying to reach?  What standard have I placed upon myself or allowed others to put upon me?  Then I ask “Lord, what are your thoughts towards me?”

In a recent trying time, I found myself in a place of uncertainty.  I had met with what I felt was criticism due to a mistake that I made.  It brought me to a place of uncertainty.  I began to question my ability and my role. My thoughts that I had of myself did not match those the Lord had of me.  Jeremiah 29:11 began to speak to my heart.  “That is not what I think of you,” the Lord said to me.  God had to remind me of his thoughts toward me, what he said about me.

When the weight of uncertainty bears down, and all attempts to consume me, I go to my secret place of worship.  In his presence, I am simply, DeNise.  No expectations, titles, criticism, just my Father and I.  Though my mistakes are real; my thoughts become focused on his thoughts of me.  His thoughts reminding me of who he says I am.  There my heart is purified.  I am refined, healed, and forgiven.  I draw closer to him and him to me.  In worship is where my Father reveals more of himself to me.  It is there that he seeks me.  “For the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.” John 4:23 KJV

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