Regrettable Words

Week 4, Wednesday

Donna Avant

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.  Philippians 2:12-16

It was 5:30 a.m. and I was emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained. I had spent the previous day unloading and unpacking my youngest son’s belongings into his college dorm room.

I was now an empty nester. I had spent the past twenty-six years being a stay-at-home mom. I loved every minute of it. Well, not really—there were those moments that I didn’t enjoy, but they were very few.

I should have been so excited. I had freedom at last and was about to take a trip to an exotic beach with my husband of thirty years. But I was tired and frazzled as I approached the check-in counter with my husband. The first words I really heard the airline agent say were, “Ma’am, your bag is overweight. That will be fifty dollars extra each way.” My response was, “No, that is not right. Your machine is wrong. And even if that is right, I am flying overseas so I get more weight.”

My sweet husband whispered into my ear, “Donna, just take a few things out. Redistribute.”

I wish I could say that I smiled and said, “Sure, no problem.” I didn’t. I continued to grumble and complain. I don’t remember much else, except for the fact that I missed an opportunity to “hold out the word of life” to that airline agent. Instead I joined in the throngs of people who grumble and complain when faced with inconvenience. God doesn’t take grumbling lightly. In Old Testament times God sent a “destroying angel” to kill some of the Israelites because of their grumbling (see 1 Corinthians 10:10).

In the New Testament the Greek word for grumbling and complaining is gongusmon. The word sounds like “gong-goose-moan,” which is what I sounded like that day—a noisy goose! I would like to excuse my complaining, murmuring, and grumbling because I was tired and weak emotionally and spiritually, but as I read Philippians 2:12-16 I see there is no exception for exhaustion.

Lord, the next time I am emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained may I remember that as You hung on the cross You didn’t complain or grumble. Lord, enable me to become blameless and pure so that I may hold out the Word of Life instead of words of death! In Jesus’ name, amen.