I have a confession to make.
I have a confession to make. I’ve lied to many of you, my friends and family. I didn’t mean to; I didn’t even realize I was doing it. It was several weeks, even months after it happened that I discovered I had done it.
Looking back, I see now that it was pride that got in the way.
Perhaps a little bit of insecurity as well.
My biggest regret is that I robbed God of His glory. That stings.
So, this is how it happened.
In the fall of 2017, my daughter and her now-husband were in the Las Vegas shooting.
We received a phone call from Emilie about 1.30am our time, commonly known as “a parents’ worst nightmare.” My husband and I awakened from a deep sleep. She was sobbing uncontrollably, and after telling her to “SLOW DOWN AND TAKE A BREATH,” we could finally make out the words “stage” and “shooting.”
She continued to sob and in broken sentences convey to us (as we could hear shots firing off in the background) that they were under the stage and there was a shooter. When we went to bed that evening, I had forgotten they were in Vegas. (When you have five grown kids who live across the whole of America, that’s easy to do. Don’t judge me here)
We asked her if Michael was with her and she said yes, they were together hiding under the stage. People under the stage had been shot. They didn’t know where the shots were coming from, but they were still being fired off. We told her to hang up, stay with Michael, and be present where they were. We told her we loved her; she told us the same (later we would learn that she literally believed they were going to die) as we hung up the phone.
Mike stayed in bed, but I got up and turned on the TV, hoping to find some encouraging news.
After almost an hour of hearing nothing, a Las Vegas channel finally posted, “News of shooting at the country music concert. Crews on their way to the scene. Stay tuned.” I continued to be glued to the couch as the news and photos began to trickle in.
We received one more phone call from Emilie about 7.00am letting us know they had made it to a casino and were in lock-down. Her phone would soon die, but they thought they were safe.
Over the next days and weeks, as the news got out, we were asked by many friends and family how we were doing. And how did we ever survive that initial phone call?
And my response would usually be about the same. “Wow. It was pretty horrific. A parents’ worst nightmare. We were quite shaken up.”
But after months of these types of replies, it dawned on me one day that while those answers were accurate, there was something I had not disclosed. The truth of the matter is while it was surreal and should have been a harrowing time; instead, it became an incredible time of peace and calm.
Subconsciously, when people would ask me how terrifying I felt in those first few hours of not knowing the safety and whereabouts of my child, my instinct reminded me that I should be panicked and terrified.
The reality is I was experiencing a peace that surpasses all understanding. It guarded my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus.
But I thought if I told the truth, I would come across as a bad mom; how could I truly love and adore my daughter while I had such peace in my heart at a time like this?
Coming to understand I had robbed God of His glory was perhaps the toughest lesson learned.
How many other times have I not given glory where it was due?
The heavens declare the glory of God. Psalm 97:6 But I passed up the opportunity.
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Michele Husfelt, has been involved with PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) for 23 years, a women’s ministry located on military bases worldwide, serving in various local and regional positions. She currently serves as the Titus 2 Advisor at JB-MDL PWOC.
She is Married to Colonel Mike Husfelt, a Senior Chaplain.
Michele is a gifted writer/blogger at WhiteSandAndTeaCups.com, and is also on staff at NorthStar Church Network serving as the Ministry Development -Communications Specialist for their Women’s Network. Her passion is to “connect women to God and each other.”
From Japan to Norway to many places in the States, Michele has spoken at retreats, workshops, and conferences.
Michele has a heart for women, whether they live in the neighborhood or the local homeless camp. While living in DC, she and her husband, Mike, an Air Force chaplain, lived in an apartment building and were on staff with Apartment Life, a faith-based non-profit whose goal is to create community and love residents.
Michele and Mike, have five funny kids, three super sons-in-law, one adorable grandson, a lazy cat, and a perfect Goldendoodle. They have recently moved from Washington, DC to McGuire AFB, NJ.
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