When Life Seems Unfair!

Many reading this blog post understand that life can be just plain unfair. At least unfair to our way of thinking. For some of us, it has been. There have been a few events where I would cry, “FOUL! THIS NOT FAIR!” I know there are those women who are not required to walk in the “muck and mire” of life – if you are one of those, you can close out this blog and move on to a more positive post. But most women reading understand that many times life is just plain unfair. 

There was one time in my life when I felt that God had betrayed me. I thought He was not fair in my life, and I decided that I was going to let Him know this. So, this particular day, as I was riding my lawn mower, I began to scream my prayer to Him. I want you to get the visual. I was mowing almost half an acre of land with a two-story house, a wonderful husband, and a new baby. I was in a desert spiritually, but materially, I had my needs met far beyond the average person. Not everyone loved me, but many people did. Our ministry was tough, so I was throwing a “spiritually spoiled” child fit. I must have looked like an idiot riding on my lawn mower, screaming at the top of my lungs at God. I told Him how unfair I thought He was, how my husband was a good man, and I asked why had he overlooked that. I have often wondered what some of my neighbors thought about that day.

 I am sharing this story because I don’t think I’m the only woman who has thrown a fit at God when we are at the end of our own emotional strength. Sometimes life seems so unfair that, if you allow yourself, you can sink deep into despair and depression. The pit of despair and depression is where no human can lift you.

When we encounter prolonged trials, our biggest problem is praying and asking God to fix whatever it is like we want. Then, when it takes a while for the trial to end or things do not turn out how we wanted, we become angry, embittered, or resentful. Our focus can turn inward and downward. And if we are not careful, we miss what God is trying to do in us or through us. Colossians chapter three, verses one through four, says, “Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.” We get in trouble when we focus on the things below. And when we focus on the things below. Our identities can become all about the events, successes, failures, sufferings, possessions, positions, families, and people in our lives.

As we embrace the unfairness of this life, we can begin to move forward in faith. Not a faith of our own making but a deep supernatural faith that woos us to trust the One who gives us faith. The One who called Noah to the wilderness, to the desert, to build an ark when it hadn’t yet to rain. The One who sent Abraham on a journey without a sacrifice. The One who called a persecutor of early Christians, meeting him on the road, calling his name, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” Saul, renamed Paul, not only hears from the Lord but traverses the country, sharing the gospel, and ends in prison – suffering. He then writes much of our New Testament while chained to a Roman guard.

Lessons learned:

It is human nature to struggle with all the losses and trials in our lives. It is carnal nature to continue to live in this mindset. Decide to walk empowered by the Holy Spirit.

Keep seeking the things above. Ask for God’s guidance through it. Ask the Lord to take it from you, but surrender to the unfairness and let the God of this universe use this hard space to do a deep work of faith in you and through you.

Remember that we have an enemy. His name is Satan. We need to come to a place where we are not continually surprised or overtaken by this enemy’s attacks. He is a liar. The Bible says in John chapter eight, verse forty-four, that he is the “father of lies.” He even lied to God about Job! The Book of Job gives us his name. It is Satan. The name Satan is a transliteration of the Hebrew, which means adversary or accuser. He hates us. Remember this.

I am praying for you and asking God to meet you where you are.

This blog post is an excerpt from Diane’s book, “When God’s Woman Wants to Give Up.”