Seeking a Vineyard

A wife of noble character who can find?
 She is worth far more than rubies.
 Her husband has full confidence in her
 and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

Proverbs 31:10-13

Proverbs 31…okay, so who can really challenge this gal’s bio? No skeletons in her closet. Her man doesn’t question her value.  He knows because it cost him more rubies than he had. She is a half-full glass kind of woman.  She is an expert in retail products.  An early riser, she is packing a healthy lunch and extras to share with others.  She has her eye on prime real estate and drives such a good bargain that she can plant a vineyard.  That’s where I stumble.  No, not even the no fear of snow in the desert part.  The vineyard gets me.  She had a place of her own from her earnings.  Something that represented her intellect.  I hold my breath as something stirs in my heart-envy.  I want this woman’s vineyard. I covet and am blinded from what I do have, embracing what someone else has because there are times that my “field” as a wife and mother is defined and measured by repetitive tasking and asking.

How many times do we find ourselves questioning the field, our life God has given us?   How will we ever be able to gain any earnings when we just scrape by on what’s in our field?  When we are so easily overwhelmed by the day’s challenges and defeated before our feet hit the floor each morning?

In the parable of the sower the seed falls onto different soil, that soil being the condition of our hearts. For a woman, the seeds of envy are found just beneath the soil of our heart.  They grow at random and germinate from our insecurities.  First as the little girl seeking love and approval, shouting, “Watch me!  Want to see do that again?  Hold me!!”  Then the thorny stems plucks through our adolescence with, “Do I look pretty?  Why don’t they like me?  Then the plant reaches out, engulfing the blossoming flowers around it.  “Why doesn’t he like me?  She is prettier than me, more popular.  She doesn’t have acne or even body odor!”  This starts the unrealistic comparison game that follows into young adulthood.  “I would have had that job if I were smarter, funnier. He would have loved me if I was more spontaneous.  My life would be different if only I  ______”.

Unfortunately, the insecurity plant’s roots can infiltrate our heart soil when we become mothers. There are times in our life that we try to live vicariously through our children.  We celebrate their developmental milestones as infants, their achievements, their victories as our own, and then we brag.  I often think of Mary, Jesus’ mother.  Picture Mary and a friend we’ll call Naomi, on a play date. The kids play while Naomi and Mary sit by chatting about the kids activities, then Naomi casually mentions that Benjamin’s ram’s horn and lyre teacher thinks that Benjamin is quite talented and gifted.  In fact, she blushingly admits, “My Benjamin is a prodigy.”  Mary sits there quietly seemingly appreciative of Benjamin’s rare giftedness.  Doing that “treasure and ponder it in her heart” thing.  Now, don’t you think Mary could have quickly replied, “That’s lovely, Naomi, but my son’s the Christ.  You heard me, M-E-S-S-I-A-H: Messiah!”  Certainly it would silence Naomi.  I mean after all, who could top that?

Perhaps that never happened to Mary, but what about to you?  Have you felt the sting that you can never measure up?  What if you truly believed your field was God’s plan for your life?  It’s then we should stop, and consider God, ruler of the universe, who hangs the stars in the sky.  He gave you your field and expects you to tend to it. We can’t be imitators of Christ, aliens to the world system if we define ourselves by the latest trends or others.  If we can’t get past the insecurity, we can never allow Jesus to heal the wounds of inadequacy.

We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the field God has assigned to us, a field that reaches even to you.  2 Corinthians 10:12-13

What if all the little things in life that we are faithful to; the acts of service which go unnoticed, were to fill our hearts and out of the overflow, the scraps, God began making nutrient rich compost?  Would your bio read, “She has compost but she covets a vineyard.” Or would you allow the Holy Spirit, the master gardener to till your heart soil changing your bio to, “Out of her abundant compost, she helps other women tend their field-reaping an eternal harvest.”

Agape,
Kristianne