Safety First

I am not what you would call new to ministry. As a matter of fact, I have been in ministry my whole life. As the daughter of a pastor, and now the wife of a pastor for over 37 years, I’ve seen a lot. And I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned what to do and what not to do. Trial by fire? YES! At times. Abundant blessings? YES! All the time. I am eternally grateful for the journey God has taken me on – the highs and lows are what has shaped me into who I am right now. And God is not done with the shaping – He will refine me until the day I am with Him.

God has strategically positioned my husband and me at the same church for over 27 years. My present calling is to be a mentor to the wives of our staff men. If these precious women love ministry as much as I do after serving many years, I will feel I have made a significant and worthy investment in these wives who God ordains to be at our church for a short time…or a long time.

As I pray over and think about our staff wives, I am struck by the youthfulness I see. Many of them are around half my age! I know their struggles because I’ve been there. As busy as we all are, our ministry wives take time once a month to gather for fellowship around the lunch table. This is a vital time of re-connection and much-needed “sister” time.

This fall, our luncheons will revolve around the theme “One Word.” Each month, I will choose a different word to consider practically, spiritually, and in ministry life, as it applies to our callings as wives of those in ministry. Here’s a glimpse of our word for September. . .

SAFETY

Is it really possible to obtain safety in this world? Safety is something everybody desires and no one is guaranteed. But what if there were some things we as minister’s wives could do that would increase the likelihood of safety in our lives?

If we allow ourselves, we can become paranoid with the dangers “out there,” whether we are referring to the dangerous world we live in or our fears inherent to ministry life. God doesn’t want us to live in fear. His desire for us is to live life abundantly. And I believe He has given us some safeguards to practice that will benefit us as we seek safety for our families and ourselves.

SAFETY

What a dangerous world we live in. When I was kid, we played outside after dark, rode our bikes without helmets, and even left our homes and cars unlocked! But today, we have so much focus on fear in our society. Fear of strangers, fear of the dark, fear of the unknown. Here are a few practical safety tips that we can all put into practice:

1. Be aware of what and who is around you all the time.
2. Avoid areas known to have a high degree of criminal activity.
3. Keep your head up when walking – don’t look down at your phone or get distracted.
4. Lock your doors during the day as well as at night.
5. Keep your garage door down when you are home.
6. If necessary, use your car keys as a weapon.
7. Carry pepper spray with you.
8. Avoid shopping alone after dark.
9. Make sure other family members are aware of your departures and arrivals.

SAFETY  Satan wants to drown us in fear. He is the creator of unbiblical fear. In Scripture, the command “Do not fear” appears numerous times in scripture.  Where do we go for the right answers to this big problem of fear? Where do we find comfort and strength? Scripture. Always. We find the tranquility we seek in the Word of God. You can’t guard your heart and mind against fear without the renewing power of the Word. If you don’t spend time immersed in it, you won’t reap the benefits of the safety therein.

There are numerous scriptures that can be applied to our lives in the area of safety. I’ve chosen just a few to share with you, but there are numerous others to claim. Memorize them so you can pull them out of your mind at a moment’s notice. Pray them over your loved ones.

Psalm 4:8 “I will both lie down in peace, and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, make me to dwell in safety.”

Proverbs 18:10 “The name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run to it and are safe.”

Proverbs 30:5 “Every word of God is pure; He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him.

Proverbs 14:3 “Foolish words cause you trouble; wise words protect you.”

Isaiah 33:21 “The LORD will be our Mighty One. He will be like a wide river of protection that no enemy can cross, that no enemy ship can sail upon.”

SAFETY

We all have moments we need to run to a safe place in ministry life. These moments can result from a wrong committed against you or a situation of your own making. But let’s consider the things that we can control, that might prevent “inviting trouble.” The scripture says, “As much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” What are some safeguards that might help you to avoid conflict?

 

Control your tongue. There is not only safety in this biblical principle, but great wisdom as well. Do not talk about your husband to others in a way that would embarrass or demean him. When you do this, you make him look weak as a leader and will cause others to question his leadership ability. If you have a serious struggle going on in your marriage, go to the appropriate sources for help. When you control your tongue with others about any subject, you won’t have to live with regret when they repeat something you’ve said and wished you hadn’t!

Have a healthy relationship with your husband. There is great safety in giving your marriage the time and attention it needs. I’m not talking about perfection, after all no marriage is perfect, but working continually to make your marriage a priority affords great safety in ministry life. You can never let your guard down. The enemy seeks to destroy all marriages, especially ministry marriages. Don’t compare your marriage to anyone else’s. Love the man you married. Make him your “lifetime study.”

Be accountable to others. This can be to your husband, a trusted friend, other family members, or another staff wife. There should be no secrets in a marriage. Your life should be an open book to your husband. “Two are better than one” (Ecclesiastes 4:9) and “iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17) show us the benefit and safety in having these relationships that encourage our walk with Christ through accountability.

Have boundaries in relationships. We cannot avoid conflict entirely, but there is safety in using wisdom and caution in how much time you spend with others. Don’t let other people dominate your time. Be careful how much you share personally and about ministry with others. Unfortunately, some people just want to be your friend to be on the “inner circle” of what happens in the church and in your life. Use caution in allowing others to influence your thinking, even actions, at times. “Be wise as serpents and gentle as doves” . . .(Matthew 10:16). No one should supersede your time with the Lord or your immediate family. There is danger when your relationships are out of balance. You cannot be all things to all people – a never ending tension in ministry for sure! Prioritize your relationships. Be wise. Be safe.

 Submit to whom God has placed in authority over you. Ooh, this is a touchy topic in today’s world. Culture screams the opposite, but our perfectly wise God knows what’s best. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or work outside the home, there are appointed authorities in your life. Your husband, your pastoral authority, or your employer – these are people God has placed in your life as “protection” for your benefit. It is the umbrella from which we as women gain shelter. When biblical submission to authority is absent in our lives, chaos abounds and we forfeit the safety and abundant blessings God desperately wants for us.

Praying “safety” for all of you. . .

Jeana Floyd is a wife, mother, grandmother, pastor’s wife, and breast cancer survivor.  She has served alongside her husband, Dr. Ronnie Floyd, in ministry for over 37 years.  They have served at Cross Church in Northwest Arkansas for 27 years.  She is the author of “10 Things Every Pastor’s Wife Needs to Know” and “An Uninvited Guest”