New Friends—or Not

Day 8

I had this weird and wonderful concept that people in ministry would eagerly befriend one another! In the early student days, people seemed more willing to be friends, but once pastors and their families lived nearer their respective churches, friendships with others in ministry seldom occurs.

When we moved to a new state, and into the parsonage, I felt sure that other ministers and their wives would rally to welcome us. Was I wrong! Not only did that not happen, but when I lamented about it, a professor friend said, “My dear, are you just now discovering this?” It was as if he voiced an unspoken rule of the game and seemed to think I was naive to have expected different.

With no one to explain such things to me, I had to blunder along myself. I still think ministers and their wives should be friends, but I also acknowledge that rarely happens. I’m not sure why. Like those who serve in the military, we all serve the same commander! I wonder if mere human insecurities separate us, or jealousies, or what? Is it lack of time to know one another?

I’ve come to examine my expectations. When I find new friends and companions, I rejoice. It is unexpected.  I try to be the friend I might want.

Here’s my description of a ministry friend:  she listens to me. She invests enough time in me that my gripes and complaints become examples of my humanity. I can share my spiritual joys. She accepts me as a person; struggling along the same pathway… we help each other avoid the big potholes along the road.  She realizes I am but flesh, full of wrinkles and discrepancies.

Do we think of other minister’s wives as “one another”. If we did, how might we interact?

  • Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)
  • Let us not become conceited provoking one another, being jealous of one another. (Galatians 5:26)
  • Be devoted to one another with mutual love, showing eagerness in promoting one another. (Romans 12:10)

If we merely lived by these three admonitions, our friendships might be different. We would consciously realize we serve the same Lord, just in different locations, and through different ministries. We might eagerly seek ways to display our respect for and admiration of others. Should we find ourselves in a pity party, jealous of another’s ministry, rethink the conversation between Jesus and Peter in John 21:21-22. When Peter asked, “What about him?”  Jesus replied, “…what concern is THAT of yours; YOU follow me.” (Emphasis mine)

Our concern each day is to be about the business Jesus assigns us, and not worry so much about the lives of others. Next, we love others with His love. Make this your choice in early days of ministry and be the catalyst for new friendships.

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