Does It Matter Who I Choose as Friends?

Have you ever asked God what He thinks about your friends? When I say friends, I mean those with whom you have the closest relationships. I mean those with whom you share the deepest thoughts and feelings of your heart. I am speaking of the one or two people with whom you bare your soul without worrying that you will be judged or condemned.

Let me ask you this: Does it really matter with whom you make friends? The fact is that a righteous friend will encourage us toward a lifestyle that is pleasing to God. An unrighteous friend will drag us down into patterns and habits that will grieve the heart of God.

I have heard Christians justify what I call “toxic friendships.” These are the friends who come into our lives and we somehow think we can fix them. We trick ourselves into believing that if we spend enough time with them, we will be the greater influence. Unfortunately, what often ends up happening is quite the opposite. There is a big difference in loving someone unconditionally and developing intimate friendships with those who are not believers. God was very clear in 1 Corinthians 15:33 about the company we are not to keep.

So how do you know those in your inner circle are the kind of friends God would have for you? The psalmist gave us a great statement on this subject: “I am a friend to all who fear You, to those who keep Your precepts” (Psalm 119:63, hcsb).

Those who desire to follow close to Christ are looking for friends who fit that criteria without question. They are to fear God. To fear something means we seek a right relationship with the object of our fear. The friends I want closest are those who evidence a desire and a drive to have a right relationship with God. They also keep God’s precepts, which are found in God’s Word. You want close friends who study, meditate on, and memorize God’s Word.

Try these filters:

1. Does this person constantly gossip and talk about others in a demeaning way behind their backs?

2. Does this person speak poorly about her spouse, her parents, or her church leaders?

3. Are our conversations uplifting and glorifying to God or are they sprinkled with innuendo and flavored with culture more than the things of God?

Father, show me any friends I have with whom I need to create some distance. Help me connect with spiritually helpful friends who seek to honor You. In Jesus’ name, amen.