Confessions of an OverFunctioning Ministry Wife Steps to  Stop It!

When I think of Martha and Mary, I am always the Martha personality who wants to be a Mary personality. But if I’m honest with myself, I can quickly get swept up in ministry work. I love what I do. I love my husband, my family, and my life. And yet, there has been a recent season where I have been pouring out until I have been depleted and completely exhausted from overfunctioning in several areas of my life.
It’s not that we won’t have periods of overfunction. Ministry is busy most, if not all, of the time. I liken it to the ebb and flow of the ocean lapping against a shoreline. Sometimes, it’s gentle lapping, and sometimes, it is crashing! You and I must take to heart the warning signs of over-functioning to burnout or depletion that lead to the symptoms and warnings we have spelled out for you in our previous posts.  
So, let’s discuss the necessary steps to stop the cycle of over-functioning. Not all of these will apply to every woman, but I want you to take a hard look at your life. Let’s get in a healthy space to finish this race well.

Steps to Stop It

• Set Boundaries: Define clear work and personal time boundaries to ensure a healthy balance. There will be seasons where this doesn’t happen in ministry – give yourself a break and then readjust. Sometimes, the work can be so hard that drawing a boundary will take significant effort. And REMEMBER, setting boundaries is not for sissies because your first boundary might be with your husband, who is going to have to understand you need a break. (He might need one as well!)
• Delegate Tasks: Empower others by delegating responsibilities and trusting them to handle tasks. Don’t try to control everything; realize that empowering others to work with you can be a good thing. When it becomes difficult, evaluate whether this is a battle to be fought or a situation where you can release your control, and it will still be done with excellence for the Lord.
• Prioritize Self-Care: Engage in regular self-care practices, including exercise, hobbies, and adequate rest. Get away at least once a year with other like-minded women to refresh. Come to a Refresh Retreat!
• Seek Support: Talk to a mentor, counselor, or trusted friend about your struggles and seek their support. You need an accountability group of ministry wives who know and love you just as you are but push you to be all that our God wants you to be!
• Regular Reflection: Regularly assess your workload and emotional state, making necessary adjustments. Every 6 weeks or so, sit down before the Lord and reflect on the schedule you have been keeping. Make adjustments accordingly. Get help if you need it!
• Spiritual Renewal: Above all, prioritize spiritual practices that renew and strengthen your relationship with God. These disciplines will hold you when the storms of life in ministry lead to much of our over-functioning lasting longer than we can manage in the flesh.

Recognizing and addressing over-functioning symptoms can lead to a more sustainable and fulfilling ministry experience, allowing you to serve effectively without compromising your well-being.
I’m cheering you all on, and from one over-functioning ministry wife to another, I want you to finish your race well and strong for our God! He sees us and loves us! He is not intimidated by our lack or overfunctioning; He is waiting for us to surrender all to Him!

Prayers for you! Diane