First Time Lessons

When you are a new pastor’s wife most everything is a first occasion. If your husband is a pastor, then you have a new pastor too! I hope you love the messages God gives your pastor/husband.  One student wife confided to me, “I just hate how my husband tries to preach.” Now that would be a terrible problem! If this is you, pray earnestly that God will teach and groom your husband into the man and speaker He approves.

Below is a list of lessons I learned, listed in random order:

• Never analyze my husband’s sermons on Sunday night. Save all comments until some other time. The best advice is just pray for him!
• I never knew preaching would physically tire him so much. After church is over on Sundays, he is pretty spent.
• Mondays might be a down day. After expending spiritual and emotional energies on Sunday, guys need to recharge on Mondays.
• It is impossible to accept every invitation to every event.
• Write down your commitments, and live by a calendar. This will save you heartache and confusion. Look at the calendar before you accept an invitation, because things will get too hectic to trust your memory.
• Find time for fun and family.
• Approach challenges with a sense of exploration, not dread.
• When the church bulletin says, “The church is invited to Mary’s baby shower” that means YOU. It doesn’t matter if you know the lady or her family, you are the pastor’s wife and your presence counts.
• Laugh at your misunderstandings and faux pas… others will, so join them!
• Offer many hugs, because people think you are really special. When you say hello or notice anything about people of your congregation it makes their day!
• They will notice your warmth more than your clothes.
• Embrace new friends that come your way.
• Ask questions, like: what celebrations does our congregation have each year? You might be surprised to hear things you never thought of. Until you ask, “they” often assume you just know!
• Try to be on time; people do what you do.
• At the very least, attend Sunday School and Sunday morning worship services. [Maybe your church only does home groups or some other type small group – the key is to participate.] Do you think this is too basic? Well, I have known young women who did not engage this way, and it really hurt her husband’s ministry.

If your husband serves in some other leadership capacity – review the list and see what things apply to you. Submit your own list!!  We’d all enjoy it!

Written by Anita Onarecker Wood – She serves on the women’s leadership team for Southern Baptist’s of Texas Convention and is a popular speaker at retreats, special events and loves teaching Bible Study classes!