Hope for the Pastor at a Dead End – Part 3
Humility, not Humiliation
If you missed the first two posts in this series, you can find click for part 1 and part 2. Today, we’re looking at the second barrier that can obscure our way forward when we are trapped in shame. When shame has us in its grip, the enemy of our souls tries to convince us that unbearable humiliation will follow on the heels of confession. He loves for us to live in perpetual dread. Knowing how deserving we are of judgment and how we really have no excuse for ending up in this desperate place, satan does his best to convince us that humiliation is also God’s desire for us.
But what God desires is humility, not humiliation. And there is a huge difference.
You are God’s dearly loved child. He wants to wrap you in His arms, to calm your conflicted heart, to subdue your rebellious spirit, and to show you His love. In fact, if you are standing empty-handed right now, with nothing left to tally and no merit of your own, you are in the perfect place to experience His love. Because God loves you…not your flawless performance or your perfect track record. He loves you.
Christians, even Christian leaders, and pastors, can be subtly deceived into viewing God’s love as a sort of transaction. We’ve been told all our lives that God loves us, but if we’re not careful, we can begin to perceive it as God’s duty, as if Jesus’ death on the cross compels Him to love us against His better judgment, so to speak.
But God does not love you reluctantly. He loves you willingly, passionately, and perfectly. He loves you because He islove. And your “is-ness,” your existence, is enough for Him to love you. Don’t fall for the lie that His love has more to do with your essence than your existence.
“Essence” says what you are. “Existence” simply says that you are. But we are creatures obsessed with essence, aren’t we? We love to define who we are by what we do. With God, it’s all so straightforward. He doesn’t need descriptors and qualifiers like we do. He is holy.
He is in a league of His own. He is the source and perfection of all life, the immovable first mover. Thomas Aquinas taught that God’s existence actually is His essence. Will you dive deep with me for a moment? If everything that God is,is summed up in the simple fact that He is, it certainly brings fresh meaning and power to His preferred name — I Am. God is not changeable like we are. He just is who He is. One hundred percent. ALL.THE.TIME.
What must that mean for His love? A love always and fully in action? Can we even visualize a love like that? Any other love we’ve ever received pales in comparison. Our own love falls embarrassingly short. We can say that we love (when maybe we don’t). We can intend to love, plan to love, put off loving, or even forget to love. We have great potential for love, but it’s not always put into action. But God doesn’t love like that. He is always and fully performing the act of love because He is love. And that means you are always fully loved. Not just off and on, or here and there. You are loved more vigilantly, enthusiastically, and actively than you can imagine.
To receive this amazing love, self (your flesh) has to get out of the way altogether. Only the self-forgetful virtue of humility can open us wide enough and empty us deep enough for God to fit His love, Himself, inside. Humility, however, means giving up control. And if you’ve spent much of your life behind masks, trying to uphold a flawless image, that kind of humble dependence is terrifying. But listen to this amazing promise from God’s word — those who fear the Lord lack nothing (Psalm 34:9-10). The Hebrew word for “lack nothing” means no shortage, deficiency, deprivation, scarcity, want or need. What a promise! Look up and let go — of everything — yet lack nothing.
What is it that Jesus promised the humble? The humble receive the earth they weren’t even seeking. That’s the way it is with God. This surrendering of self is no loss, but unimaginable gain. “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,” Jesus said (Matthew 6:33 CSB). And all will be provided. Losing our image and letting go of masks held in place by pride can actually be a gift in disguise. It can free us from our prison at the imaginary center of our universe and place us in a position where we are finally free to experience the extravagant gifts of God and His love. You can trust His heart on this. His desire for you is humility, not humiliation.
Erin is the wife of a naval chaplain and mom of four who makes her home in the Halifax area of beautiful Nova Scotia, Canada. She serves as Lead Writer at Well Christian Woman and is host of the Unlikely Grace Scripture Meditation Podcast where she encourages listeners to embrace the presence of God in the pages of Scripture. In her free time, you’ll find her enjoying nature walks, studying Hebrew, reading really old books, and trying every new sourdough recipe she can find. She shares her passion for Jesus on the page, platform, podcast — any way she can, because she has seen Him turn the biggest messes into blessings as she has learned to follow Him one shaky step of faith at a time. Find her online at www.erinheatherevans.com
