Confessions of a PK!

By: Christi Watson

Until I was a preteen, I ate up every part of being a pastor’s kid.  In my eyes, my Dad knew everything about God and everyone loved my Dad.  Being a pastor’s kid afforded me opportunities to do things like have lunch with my favorite musicians. Doors were opened for me to do what I loved to do, SING!

Then there was the “J” incident.  I will call him J to protect his identity.  I was on the cusp of middle school when my Dad decided to take a very public stance from the pulpit against a store in our small Texas town that was actively promoting pornography.  J’s father had been very strategic in bringing this business to our town.  Day after day this boy would mock me on the playground because of my Dad.  I remember feeling ashamed and then increasingly angry.  One day, backed by the full force of my 90 pound frame, two bony fists went flying at J. I remember a dear friend physically holding me back, but I did get in one really good punch. J never told, and he never bothered me again, but a corner had been turned. Some people hated my Dad, and weren’t afraid to take that out on me.

In the next several years, I would move to a bigger city. There, I faced a youth minister who called me a “nerd” in front of my new friends, who laughed with him, because I liked to hang out by myself at a local bookstore after school. When my friends weren’t around he said “Are you going to tell your Daddy on me?” and walked away.

Home was not always a refuge either. People tend to think pastors and their wives are perfect because they are in ministry.   However, Mom and Dad readily admit that their marriage struggled when I was young.  Arguments were dramatic, frequent, and not held in the privacy of their room.

Our home was not only threatened from the inside but from the outside also.   When my Dad hired the first African American staff member at our Atlanta church, we learned that bigotry was alive and well in the South. Crazy racists came to our doorstep yelling and banging on our door.  Our family also received death threats.

When I hear of pastor’s kids harming themselves, I grieve. I get it. Being a pastor’s kid is no joke. I am 31 years old and I still struggle.  People try and be your friend just so they can drop their opinions on you about what should happen within the church.  People do not attempt to be your friend because they have made a false assumption that you are some kind of android who doesn’t need friendship.  People tend to introduce me, not as Christi, but as “The Pastor’s Daughter.”

Regardless, I will tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are several reasons I continue to follow Christ. First of all, when I was 10 years old my parents took me to the persecuted church.  I spent a week living with missionaries in Belarus.  The walls of communism had recently fallen so persecution was still a very fresh memory for these people. I knew that the Christ these brave people followed was REAL and worth following.

Then in High School my parents allowed me to live in Montreal for the summer to help with a church plant by reaching out to people in the arts community. I didn’t even know how to do my own laundry and here I was living in an apartment with people who spoke little English. Following Jesus was not fed to me as a country club or a political movement, but as a marvelous adventure.  In Montreal I realized being on mission doesn’t necessarily mean going to a third world county.  Being on mission means allowing the Lord to use the gifts He gave you to bring those around you closer to Him. Thus began my journey into the world of professional theatre. Another story for another time.

Most importantly, my parents were REAL followers of Jesus.  They stumbled and failed and sometimes they just sucked at being followers of Christ.  BUT they always, always owned their mistakes, got back up and fell right back in line with the vine.  They were brave enough to let their kids see them do this.

If you are the parent of a ministry kid, here is what I encourage you to do.  First of all, when it is in your power, expose them to heroes of the faith and send them on faith adventures. Trust your kids to the Lord and let them go do that crazy thing you know God is in.

Second, communicate to them, even if they are teenagers, that no one has the right to ask them to not share information with you. Be clear with them that anyone who asks them not to share something with Mom or Dad, regardless of who that person may be, is, at the very least an immature person and at the very worst a dangerous person.

Also, be sensitive to the fact that you signed up to be on public display. Your kids did not. When they struggle with it, grab them tight and let them know that you struggle with it sometimes too,

Most importantly, when you fail, be quick to ask forgiveness. Take a deep breath. God’s grace is rich. He has already paid for every one of your mistakes. Get on your knees together as a family and declare that no weapon formed against you will prosper from inside or outside your home.   May God bind your hearts together on this journey of leadership.

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Christi Avant Watson is the Director of Theatre Arts for Concord Christian School’s Middle and High School in Knoxville, TN. Christi has directed youth theatre in Louisiana, Tennessee & the Middle East. As a professional actor/singer, Christi has toured nationally as well as performed Off and Off-Off Broadway and in Regional Theater. Recently she played the role of “Shelby” in “The Spitfire Grill” at Knoxville’s Bijou Theater. Christi has a husband who keeps her insanity at bay and a 2.5 year old boy who makes the insanity worthwhile.