She Was! He Is!
Week 24, Weekend
Diane Nix
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Psalm 139:23-24 (nlt)
There she was, walking into the neighborhood once again. The dark car let her off at the front part of the neighborhood and then she would walk to a house. She would enter quietly, keeping her eyes to the ground. Sometimes I could catch her eye and would smile, but inside I was judging her. Just like everyone else, I judged her. I judged her for the lifestyle that she lived. With her job complete, she would quietly leave either by car or on foot. All the while neighbors took note and talked. One day while reading today’s verses, I was pierced with conviction. I was judging her, not her sin! God was the only One who had the right to search her heart. I could not see her heart! I was to hate sin that He hates but Abba Daddy God is the only One that can search a heart!
A few months went by, and one day word came through the newspaper that this woman had died. It was hard to recognize her from the youthful, innocent picture in the obituary, but it was her. She was and now she wasn’t. Why didn’t I push past my judgment and inquire about her heart? Why didn’t I find out why she chose to live the life that she lived?
He is looking all the time for a heart that is completely His. He knows the struggles and choices in a human heart that drive it to despair and/or rebellion. We don’t even know our own hearts, much less someone else’s. So we must tend to our own hearts. We must let the One who knows our hearts better than we do search, know, and test. He is the God who knows us and when we allow Him to He will point out all things that separate us from His heart.
Dear God, please forgive me for judging others’ hearts. Search my heart. Test my heart. See if there is any evil way. Lead me to live a life that cares for others’ hearts as You have cared for mine. Thank You for seeing my heart! Help me to have Your heart for the world in which You have placed me. Melt my heart for the lostness around me. I love You, Abba! Thank You for loving me. Amen.
It’s so easy to focus on the sin we see in others, so hard to remember our own. It seems to help to keep in mind that those we see who are caught in sin were once like the picture in the obituary: young, hopeful, innocent. They probably never dreamed of becoming what they are. Given different circumstances, who knows if we might have turned out the same. It is only by God’s grace that there is anything good in our lives. “But by the grace of God I am what I am,” 1 Cor. 15:10.
I find myself being judgmental and opinionated about others, but fail to see the sin clearly in my life in doing just what I was judging others about. God help me to take care of my life and let you take care of others.