Lessons Learned Through A Pattern of Friendship

We were created for relationship. Ministry Wives are not an exception to this, but according to multiple polls, the number one struggle with many ministry wives is the issue of loneliness. Many times, ministry positions leave us without close friendships with our churches. 

The front lines of ministry can be a very lonely place. 

Friendships and Relationships matter to women.  

 Have you ever watched a group of grown women get together that are close to each other and have a long history with one another? There is a lot of noise. Initially, when they get together, each one of them is talking at the same time. It makes me smile to think about that kind of setting. Good friends sharing their hearts, their trials, their triumphs, their joys, their hopes, their dreams, their trials, their sufferings, their answers to prayers. 

Job’s wife needed some faithful friends. As we read in scripture at the end of Job chapter one, she and Job have no CHILDREN, money, possessions, nothing that gave her joy and happiness, no friends, and no position. She is at the end of all her emotions. She could have chosen to support her husband, but as we read Job, she found not only his “breath offensive” but also, I believe, everything about him offensive. She might have been trying to take care of his basic needs, but Job’s wife racked with grief and loss, was simply done. Job 19:13-23 (NLT)

Job and his wife needed their friends to stand by them. But that didn’t happen. Have you ever been in this situation? You are alone, and not only that, but it seems that heaven is silent too. How many of us have made it through suffering after suffering because we had friends and family praying for us and standing with us?

How women need FAITHFUL friends.

Forever – A forever friend is there in the good and bad times – no matter how long the bad times last. Some friends will be just for a season, and we need to understand as women that not every friend we meet will be a forever friend. The story of David and Jonathan is an example of a forever friendship. (I Samuel 1:3-41)

Authentic – A true Faithful friend is Authentic. She is herself. “What you see is what you get.” Flattery will not be her game. She will not tell you something you want to hear just so you can be friends. She will be truthful but encouraging.

Intuitive or discerning, a faithful friend is aware of the events going on in her own life and those things going on in the lives of friends God has placed around her. She is mindful of the things in the physical realm and the spiritual realm. 

Trustworthy: A faithful friend is trustworthy. She will keep your secrets and the secrets of others. She will do what she says she is going to do. You will be able to trust her with your life and the lives of your family. 

Hope: A Faithful friend is full of hope for you and herself. She has placed her hope in the Father and knows he will never fail her or you. She has hope that God will take care of all things. Her hope is found totally in the Lord. Her hope is that God will always answer.

Psalm 31:24

Forgiven and Forgives: A Faithful friend is a forgiven friend and lives a life forgiving. She is a Christian. She understands that a true friend and a friend that will stick closer than a sister has been forgiven. Her primary relationship is with her God. A Faithful friend is a forgiving friend. Forgiveness is a key to true intimacy with the Father and faithful friendships. Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT)

Unselfish: A faithful friend is a friend who gives herself to others. She is selfless. Webster’s dictionary states that the definition of selfless is having no concern for self: unselfish. A faithful friend does not consider what she will get from the relationship. She serves with her whole heart and expects nothing in return. (1 Corinthians 10:24) A girlfriend who prays for you and thinks of your own good and dreams and prays for what is best for you is an incredible example of a faithful friend. 

Loving, a faithful friend loves. She is an example of Christ’s love. She is a true example of what it means to have and to share the Love of Christ.

You and I are to be about encouraging and being faithful to our friends. In this life’s journey, we must fortify ourselves with faithful friends. You and I must grow to become faithful friends. It is an unfortunate fact that many women do not know how to be good friends. We have allowed the busyness of our lives to silence the need for faithful friends.  

It is so lonely in this world without a friend. Maybe you are a woman who needs a faithful friend. Start by praying that God will send you a woman who will be Anne Shirley of Anne of Green Gables, called a “kindred spirit.” Ask your God to send a woman friend to help you grow in your relationship with Christ.

We need a friend who will sit with us without saying a word. Women need friends who will be honest but loving. Women need friends who will commit to pray for them more than they speak to them.

Someone with skin on.

Another woman as a “faithful friend,” an authentic “Forever Friend.”