When the Drama is Not on Stage!

By:  Christi Avant Watson
I teach theatre arts to teenagers, and I often tell them to “keep the drama on stage.” Pastors and their families are no strangers to off-stage church drama. I don’t have to define what I mean by off-stage drama. If you are in a ministry family, you know.

Once I roomed with a pastor’s daughter who I thought would be my fellowship in a very secular environment. Quickly I learned that she was thrilled to be in a place where no one expected her to step foot in a building she had lost faith. When I heard her story of watching on the sidelines while her dad’s life work had been thrown under the bus of hypocritical, off-stage church drama, I couldn’t blame her.

Fast forward a few years in my life and I watched my Dad experience something similar. At the time, I was in NYC, far away from the Bible Belt. I grieved for my dad, but honestly, I didn’t take it personally.  I was far away from the fish bowl.

Now, I live in the same town as my family, raising my family, in the pews of the church my Dad pastors. I count myself blessed to sit under my father’s teaching every Sunday, but I have stared down the snake that slithers behind the off-stage drama: cynicism.  Cynicism is the infection that sets in when deep disappointment spreads through the heart. When people you believe in, kick you in the gut and walk away, it rears its hideous head. When friendships die while you desperately perform relationship CPR, it flickers its tongue. When dreams are crumpled up and tossed aside, it spits venom.

Giving into cynicism is a colossal relief,  kind of like allowing sleep to take over when you are freezing to death, allowing cynicism as your relief is to trade a beating heart for a bitter one. Before you know it, the enemy has incapacitated you by tainting everything in your life with the flavor of sour hope and self-pity.  Praise be to God that cynicism is avoidable, even when the off-stage drama is of Shakespearean proportions. Here is how God’s spirit has taught me to proceed when cynicism sneaks up.

1) Don’t be naive. God isn’t.

In spite of the places I’ve been, and the diverse people I’ve known, I tend to be naive. Naiveté says people at deep down are good. God says people deep down are broken. Even people who have surrendered to Jesus mess up. Sometimes “mess up” doesn’t even describe the brokenness. Peter denied Jesus three times. Judas kissed Jesus, then threw him to the wolves. These were not pagan men; these were disciples. According to the book of John, “(God) does not need man’s testimony about man for he knows what is in a man.”

The Creator of the universe thoughtfully crafted Adam and Eve, offered them everything except what would destroy them, then watched as they chose destruction. If Adam and Eve in Eden couldn’t manage to walk with God 100% of the time, no one can. Do not expect people, even God’s people, to keep it together.

2) Don’t be a pharisee.

Ironically, cynicism makes you a Pharisee, believing that you are above the faults of “those people.” At least I’m not a gossip. At least I’m not greedy. At least I’m not a bigot. When we think that way we are missing the many ways, we must grow to be the most useful to God. God watched the people who threw His Son a palm-branch welcome party turn around and crucify him just a short time later. Nevertheless, He brought His Son out of the grave three days later so that those same perpetrators could have hope.

I need that kind of grace. When I know how badly I need that kind of grace, I am capable of extending it to others.

3) Bring the drama to the real enemy.

My mom has been a pastor’s wife for more years than I have been alive. If anyone’s cynicism could be justified, it might be hers, but this is what she said to me yesterday on the back porch on Rocky Top, “Don’t let the sin of others keep you from doing what God has called you to do.” God has placed you in a ministry family and given you unique gifts and talents. He wants to see His kingdom of love built through you. At times, it may be easier to sit down, shut up, and resolve that this whole “church” thing is a joke. If you do that, the real enemy wins. We do not war against flesh and blood. Focus the drama on our real enemy by reminding him that he will not prevail against the body of Christ. Knowing how Peter would betray him, Jesus looked into his face and said “And I tell you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it (Matthew 16:18). Knowing how brothers and sisters in Christ would fail each other again and again even thousands of years later, Jesus  still looks in our face and says “the gates of hell shall not prevail against the church.” Instead of harboring bitterness, let’s take the drama to the real enemy. Let’s look in Satan’s face and declare “the gates of hell shall not prevail against the church.”

When the off-stage drama rips at our hearts,  remind cynicism that the One you follow has promised to “heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. He is great and mighty in power, and His understanding has NO limit. He sustains the humble but casts the wicked to the ground.” Cry. Throw something. Most of all throw your hands up and let the God of Angel Armies dress you in His armor. My skin is not thick, but His armor is impenetrable. We don’t have time to be cynical when we can be the change that someone’s soul is counting on.

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