Do I Have to Like Everybody?
A pastor’s wife serves in a unique role. Her every response, every step, often faces critique. As I have, you may come in contact with people who are not your ‘cup of tea’ for whatever reason: maybe they have a strong personality, overstep the boundaries you have in place, seem critical or judgmental, or perhaps they are just someone you do not prefer to be around. It happens. You are not alone. Every person who crosses your path may not be someone you prefer to be around.[su_spacer]As the pastor’s wife, you may not have the flexibility to exclude people who you do not prefer. How, then, should you respond? The Bible tells us in Romans 12:18, “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” This means when others are not your preference, you still have the responsibility to walk in peace. As I have often said to my teammates, “You may not be best friends with everyone, but you learn to work with them for the common goal.” Your goal, to point others towards Christ, should speak louder than your like or dislike of anyone.[su_spacer]What if I am struggling?
How should you handle the situation where you struggle? The Bible tells us in Hebrews 4:16 to “…come boldly before the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in the time of need.” When faced with the dilemma of not liking someone I have to interact with, love, and encourage, I pray. Through the strength of God, I can still work with them and love them as individuals. It is true, I do not invite into my inner circle as a confidant or prayer partner, but I can respect and love them, even when they do not reciprocate. I pray that the Lord keeps my focus on my purpose, the end result, not the issue at hand. I pray and leave it on the altar while focusing on the people needing ministry, prayer, and Jesus.
[su_spacer]A Personal Account
Years ago, I worked at a retail store on commission. The competition, at times, was fierce. I often worked the same shift as a particular gentleman. I noticed most people in our department did not like to work with him. He was not a team player and would swoop in to take other’s sales. He was also not the friendliest person. Day after day, I would come to work and speak to him. He would either ignore me or grunt a hello. I found myself disliking him, also. Each week I would look at my shift assignment and inwardly groan when I saw our schedules coincided. Instead of continuing on the disheartening journey of disliking his company, I began to pray. I have always felt that it was better to work in peace than contention.
[su_spacer]My answer did not come after one prayer, two or even three. It came after diligent prayer. During one of our shifts, this gentleman shared how his wife had lost her job and that he was now the only one working.
It became clear to me that his disgruntled nature had nothing to do with me or anyone else. He was frustrated with his situation, which manifested in his personality. This understanding led me to pray for him and his family more fervently. We never became close friends. I didn’t become best friends with his wife and start hanging out with her. I did, however, continue to go boldly before the throne of grace for them.
[su_spacer]You are not required to like every person you work with, who attends your church or comes to visit. The Lord does require you to love others (1 John 4:20). Looking to Jesus as our example, even when he around those deemed less desirable, the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11), the woman with the issue of blood (Mark 5:25-34), the man possessed by demons (Mark 5:1-13), he loved them. He disapproved of their behavior, but he loved them.
[su_spacer]Using Jesus as an example, it is essential to love those who grace your presence. Like the gentleman I mentioned, they also may need to experience the love of Christ. Second Corinthians 3:2 tells us, “Ye are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read of all men.” How you interact with others, especially those you do not like, speaks volumes, whether good or bad, to those observing you. It can either draw others to Christ or push them away. When you find yourself in a place where you dislike someone, remember to take it to the Lord in prayer, walk in love, and trust him to guide your steps.
[su_spacer]DeNise Gerst is a minister and ministry wife. She has served in ministry for the past 22 years. She
has serves as a worship leader, staff minister, Youth Pastor, and adjutant. This past February, she was ordained as an Apostle. DeNise serves in marketplace ministry as an Assistant Principal in the public-school system. As an educator for 21 years, she has had the pleasure of serving as a classroom teacher, Science Facilitator, and Administrator. DeNise also leads worship at her church in the form of song and through dance. She has a heart to encourage individuals to draw closer to the Lord and has a special place in her heart for ministry wives. DeNise is a multi-gifted individual. She is an author, prophetic worshipper, liturgical dancer and songwriter. Her hobbies include reading, singing, and dancing. She enjoys spending time with her family and has taken time to re-connect with her family. DeNise and her husband John have been married for 20 years and have one loving and gifted son.
