Courage to Breathe

Some things in life are so devastating that you need courage just to breathe. A sudden car wreck on a rain-soaked highway, a doctor’s terminal diagnosis, or a phone call in the middle of the night are moments that change our lives forever. Such was the case in the death of my thirteen-year-old son, Andrew. In only a moment he stepped out of this life and into another. Everything in my life from then on took its reference from that tragic day. Our grief—a very physical process that drains one’s body, mind, and spirit—set in motion an intense balancing act. My husband and I tried to keep our perspective by reminding each other that our despair, our struggle, and our unrelated conflicts were magnified because Drew died.

Throughout this heartbreaking time, we learned many things about our God, our ministry, and ourselves. First, God loves us and is not willing that any should die but that all should have eternal life (see 2 Peter 3:9). For a parent the most excruciating part of losing a child is the thought that you’ll never see him or her again. I know that Christ died for all, but at the time, it seemed as if God looked down through time, saw our dreadful dilemma, and gave His Son just for us so that we could have a second chance. Our gratitude for His provision multiplied with our loss.

In addition, God expanded our heart for ministry. Second Corinthians 1:2-4 tells us that God comforts us so that we in turn can comfort others in their time of trouble. Our ministry richly developed as we genuinely empathized with hurting people, not offering shallow platitudes but heartfelt sorrow for their circumstances.

 But the most significant change came in our individual lives as we examined everything we believed with a fine-tooth comb. We boldly asked God daunting questions and He revealed truth as we searched. As I listened closely, He whispered in my ear the assurances that I needed. Courage comes in many forms; sometimes it’s not about the courage to fight but the courage to simply keep breathing.

Dear gracious Lord, thank You for making a way when we could not reach You. Thank You for the grace and mercy You showed us by sending Jesus as our Savior. Thank You that this life is not all there is. In Jesus’ name, amen.