The Struggle of One

No, I will not abandon you as orphans-I will come to you. John 14:18

I was sitting in a crowded sanctuary surrounded by people and had this thought, “I could never come here again…I could disappear…die…or just never come and no one would even know I was missing.” You might have had a thought something like this, “Not one of these people really knows me.  ME.  The real me.”  Have you ever felt like an orphan in the middle of a crowded room?  The issue of loneliness and the struggle through it is absolutely one of the most difficult issues that a ministry wife faces.

Several reasons attribute to the loneliness that we feel.  They include:(this list is not complete)

• Moving to an area far away from all family support
• Financial restraints that do not allow the freedom of meeting for lunch or entertaining in your home
• Working outside of the home in order to support the family while husband carries on ministry
• Raising children alone and being in a congregation with few or no women in the same stage of life
• Living in an area of the country or world where like minded women are few and far between

So what’s a woman to do?  First, turn to the WORD and then prayer.

Deuteronomy 31:6 reads,

6 So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

1. Recognize you are not alone.  He has gone before you.  He will not abandon you or forsake you.  Begin to ask God for direction and for Him to bring you a like minded friend in your local area.  We can survive with one real good girl friend.
2. Look your budget over and just plan that one day you will have coffee with someone. Invite your small group in your home for a potluck.  Everyone brings a dish.  Develop a small group of people to have conversation.  Look beyond your walls of comfort.  Have a co-worker meet you in the break room or for a walk at lunch and eat your lunch with her.  Establish play dates with other women outside of your church – you never know – since God has been there before you – you might get to lead the family to Jesus! Go ahead!
3.  Build, seek out, and develop an inner circle of close confidants of like minded women via Skype or other social media.  Pull your chair up to the computer and have a cup of coffee through the computer with a girlfriend.  Put your phone on speaker, attach it to you, then dust and clean while you have a good chat.  Join a forum that’s safe like us at  contagiousjoy4him.com or join a group on Facebook and make friends.

It is a struggle!  It’s going to be a struggle!  It probably always will be a struggle but you and I can push through it and live.  Live the life that God meant for us to live in this fish bowl.  What a privilege.  What an honor.  So finally, if your lonely – don’t believe the lies.  Don’t keep it secret.  Face it.  Admit it.  Bring it out into the light and let God direct.  It’s when you and I give into the lie of our great foe that we lose perspective and sink deeper into the feeling of loneliness.

How do you combat loneliness?  We need to hear what you do.  Iron sharpens iron.

Diane Nix is director and founder of Contagious Joy.  She is the spiritual mom of two grown daughters. (Kasia 32 & Courtney 30)  The birth mom of two miracle daughters  – one college freshman Rebekah and one 16 year old Rachel.  She and her professor/pastor husband, Dr. Preston Nix,  have served in ministry for 30 years August 2013.  She speaks and teaches whenever the Lord gives her opportunity.  Gratefully acknowledging that He has plucked her out of her birth family mire in order to share HIS LOVE!