Hopes for my Children

My children were not born into a pastor’s home. Sadly, they knew life with us before Jesus reigned, although I am happy to say that was not too many years. Life where Daddy is in ministry, and in our case, when Daddy is the pastor, was a new learning curve for us all. I was unaccustomed to people paying so much attention to my children, and so were they.

In the earliest days of ministry, I had a secret hope: that my children would become adults and still like the church. I understood so little of what that really meant. Today, I would rephrase my hope for my children – that I would never discourage their relationship with God, and not be part of anything that detracts them from Him. I would not want to be that millstone around their necks, as in Luke 17:2: “Better to wear a millstone necklace and take a swim in the deep blue sea than give even one of these dear little ones a hard time!” the Message Bible. Oh, that church members had such a mission on their hearts too!

Our children have a difficult time as they deal with our expectations of them, congregational expectations, and life in general. Parents must plan their family according to personal Godly values, and not allow others to dictate. At the same time, parents in ministry must acknowledge the fact that people we serve will watch our children’s behavior, dress, and participation in church activities. Pastor Dad and ministerial-spouse Mom are accountable to God for the way they lead their children. I hope that Dads and Moms will come together when their children are young and agree on lifestyle, discipline, and Godly values.

Bad things happen in church life. There is no escaping. Our children will be disappointed with adults in churches where we serve. We must face injustice or disappointment in a way that leads our children back to Christ rather than allowing our anger to further conflict. Remember, your attitude and mealtime discussion affects your children’s viewpoint of other believers. Attempt to be truthful with grace, balance the injustice you face with your faith in God’s goodness. You set the tone of your home, and as far as it is in your power, seek to honor God.

I Cor. 13:6 refers to injustice covered with love’s truth.

Ephesians 4:15 admonishes readers to practice the truth in love, with a goal of maturity in Christ.

Galatians 5:17 asks a question: “you were running well, who prevented you from obeying the truth?” What a question! What caused you to falter? Why did you step aside from following Christ? Who did something, said something, or behaved in some manner that hindered your obedience?

IF this question applies to you, or your child, or your family—pray now. Ask God to help you see where life took a bad twist or turn. Ask Him to bring you back from this harmful way. If you have not faced disappointment or harm, thank God. Pray for your children, and ask God to use you to lead them and be a trustworthy example.

Anita Onarecker Wood

Author/Devotional Writer/Speaker and Teacher Anita writes from a God-given passion and the overflow of His activity in her life. She was a young mother of two when her husband Dick Onarecker, recognized God’s call on his life. Suddenly she was a minister’s wife! For years they worked together, so when Dick died suddenly in 1996, her life changed in every conceivable way. More….