by: Michele Husfelt
[su_spacer]I sat at the kitchen bar and watched her steep the tea. She set out two teacups and two spoons. After paying particular attention to the process, she poured our tea, pulled up the other chair, and began to share.
[su_spacer]We met at a women’s conference overseas. She was the main speaker, and after one of the sessions, I introduced myself to her while we were preparing our tea. We chatted a few minutes and made our way back to the auditorium. Having mentioned the country where I was living and that we were interested in having her come to share with our women, she gave me a card with her information. I tucked it away, got busy with life, and forgot all about our exchange until a few years later when we found ourselves moving to the same city where she lived. I found her address and sent her an email that went something like this, “Hi, my name is Michele, and we met at a conference in Germany two years ago. You’d mentioned you were in Tucson, which, ironically, is where we ‘just happen’ to be moving.”
[su_spacer]To my surprise, she wrote back the next day. She gave me her phone number and asked me to call when we got in town. I did, and the rest, they say, is history.
[su_spacer]A few months after moving to Tucson, she invited me to lunch. As we finished our food and chatted a while, she reached in her bag and pulled out one of her Bible studies. She handed it to me and said she felt the Lord was asking her to walk through it with me.
[su_spacer]At that moment, our mentoring friendship began. It continues, 16 years later.
For almost 28 years, I’ve been in women’s ministry. During this time, the word “mentor” was tossed around like a loose ping pong ball. It’s batted back and forth and usually ends up landing in a corner, or some hard-to-reach place where it stays until the next brave soul brings it back and bats it around again.
[su_spacer]I’ve researched mentoring programs, read mentoring books, and attempted to decipher mentoring methods. Of the definitions I’ve read, the keyword in defining mentoring is a relationship.
[su_spacer]My definition of a mentor enters into a relationship with another by inviting the mentee into her life, whose ultimate purpose is to share, encourage, teach, disciple, walk alongside, and above all, love.
[su_spacer]I’ve had many women in my life through the years who’ve acted as mentors. Some of them mentored me long distance. Many mentored me through specific seasons, and though we no longer regularly keep in touch, what they brought to my life during our time together continues to yield fruit in my life and in the lives of those I now mentor.
[su_spacer]I’ve been mentored. And I’ve mentored. I currently mentor a small group of women, most of them at least ten years younger than me, but interestingly, one is older. In this group, we use a Bible study, specifically designed for a mentoring relationship. We commit to spending time in God’s Word daily, staying connected with each throughout the month, and coming together monthly for a gathering. We commit to being honest, vulnerable, and accountable. Mostly, we commit to doing life together.
[su_spacer]As my children have all become adults, I’ve had a few of their friends ask if I’d mentor them. As I walk alongside them, my prayer is that there are other women my age who are investing in my children as well. It brings to full circle the saying that it takes a village to raise a child. It truly does.
[su_spacer]As I now find myself mentoring the next generation more and more, I remind myself of the need; I still have to be mentored. I intentionally seek to have someone walking alongside me as I, in turn, walk with those coming behind me. When I asked my mentor friend in Tucson many years after we started walking together, why she chose me to mentor, she replied, “I want to teach those to dance who will, in turn, teach others to dance.”
[su_spacer]Another reality I’ve been reminded of when mentoring is that it is an investment. I must be intentional to pour my time, resources, and energy into those I’m called to mentor. There are days I want to be lazy and secluded. Those days the Lord helps me remember not to “grow weary in well-doing for in time we shall reap, if we do not give up” Gal. 6:9. People are one of the few things that will last for eternity. I want to invest wisely.
[su_spacer]With great fondness, I recall the times my mentor and I met together in Tucson. We started out meeting monthly, but by the time I moved, we were getting together at least once a week. We had gone from meeting formally to doing a lot of life together.
[su_spacer]She was challenging at times.
She asked tough questions I didn’t want to answer.
She held me accountable when I would rather have been forgotten.
And she watched me grow.
When I had questions, she would always point me to Scripture.
[su_spacer]She and her husband opened their arms and wrapped them around my family and me. We shared many holidays since none of us had family in the area. They became our family. When my husband was deployed, they came to my son’s first high school football game and were the ones who got to see his first touchdown.
[su_spacer]We haven’t lived in the same area for 14 years, yet she remains a valuable influencer. We call and text and make it a point to see each other at least once a year. Anytime I need her, I am free to call, knowing she will be a listening ear, a wealth of wisdom, and a personal prayer warrior.
[su_spacer]I long to emulate her example as the kind of mentor I want to be.
[su_spacer]A few years ago, she came to speak at a women’s retreat our church was hosting. I was so excited when I introduced her to a young friend I had recently started mentoring. “I’d like you to meet one of your granddaughters in the faith,” I exclaimed. To which my young friend responded, “I’m so glad to meet you. I feel like I already know you as so much of what Michele has taught me has been what she’s learned from you.”
[su_spacer]Mentoring. An intentional relationship orchestrated by The Father.
[su_spacer]Two women sharing life together. One just a little further down the road, reaching out her hand and welcoming the other to “Come, let’s journey together.”[su_spacer]
Michele has been a pastor/chaplain’s wife for over 30 years, serving in various locations stateside and overseas. She currently serves as the Titus 2 Advisor at JB-MDL PWOC, a ministry dedicated to women affiliated with the military. She is also on staff at NorthStar Church Network serving as the Ministry Development/Communications Specialist for their Women’s Network.
[su_spacer]Her two greatest passions are to connect women to God and each other, and to encourage and equip the saints to love their neighbors.
[su_spacer]She is a gifted writer and blogs at WhiteSandAndTeaCups.com.
[su_spacer]From Japan to Norway to many places in the States, Michele has spoken at retreats, workshops and conferences.
[su_spacer]Michele and Mike have five funny kids, three super sons-in-law, five adorable grandchildren, a lazy cat and a perfect Goldendoodle. They have recently moved from Washington, DC to McGuire AFB, NJ.