We connect ministry wives around the globe for the purpose of prayer, encouragement, awareness, accountability, bible study and friendship.

Living God’s Way

Have you found yourself in a bind, and wondering, just how do we live like this? (This, of course, will vary family to family.)  What are the demands you face? What choices do you face just now? One common dilemma to many new in ministry is that of being under-employed. I chose to be the helpmate to my husband, not only in our marriage, and in our ministry.  My employment was a source of additional income, not a continuum toward my career.  Of course, I realize this is a personal choice, but I must tell you it contributed to peace in our family, and availability in ministry. I was one of those wives that helped her husband through school by any means necessary, and am grateful for times when I did not have to work outside the home. Ministry was certainly enough to keep us both busy. I would not go back...

New Friends—or Not

Day 8

I had this weird and wonderful concept that people in ministry would eagerly befriend one another! In the early student days, people seemed more willing to be friends, but once pastors and their families lived nearer their respective churches, friendships with others in ministry seldom occurs. When we moved to a new state, and into the parsonage, I felt sure that other ministers and their wives would rally to welcome us. Was I wrong! Not only did that not happen, but when I lamented about it, a professor friend said, “My dear, are you just now discovering this?” It was as if he voiced an unspoken rule of the game and seemed to think I was naive to have expected different. With no one to explain such things to me, I had to blunder along myself. I still think ministers and their wives should be friends, but I also acknowledge that rarely...

Is This IT?

Day 7:

Ministry! So excited! We began this journey called ministry! Okay. Now what? Life seems somewhat normal again. Routine things still happen. Things are much as they were before. We relocated for hubby to attend school, and now we must find a new church family. People in this new congregation see us as students, which seems to translate into temporary, different from them, not really part of the congregation. Back home, our friends had a high regard for us, knowing what God did. Now we are lumped into the group called “preacher-boy families.” Like others new on campus, we seek a church home. We try to find our way around a new town, new grocery stores, and not really knowing anyone!  The excitement is over, and now what? Wow, when the spiritual high goes away, the let-down crashes in! Now I realize this is the typical pattern: if there were no low...

How Do We Get There?

Day 6:

 

The how question is not about strength or ability, or moving companies etc., but is about the finances.  The there destination is not about a place but represents a woman’s sense of financial security.  “Just trust God, He will provide,” people say.  Such trite phrases flow easily when we say it to others, when it does not apply personally. When one is new in ministry, there are many categories of questions, and few places to get answers. (It’s not that others won’t tell you the truth, you just feel sort of stupid asking such questions in the first place!)
Maybe similar questions swirl around in your mind, like these: How can we afford this big lifestyle change? I haven’t worked in a while, and now he wants to go to school? He used to work full-time, and now it will be part-time at best! How long will it take a...

Where Do We Go First?

Day 5 After we identify God’s call and claim on our life, the next question is, “where do we go from here?”  Almost no one spends time and money preparing for ministry before clarifying a call. I mean, who goes to seminary or engages in ministerial training for no reason? When young men or newly married couples face this question, it may be simple. Perhaps you’ve completed college or are still in college, yet understand ministry as the direction for your life. Others however might have been married for a few years, or many years. Some acknowledge God’s call a bit later in life. What does such a man do? How does this affect his wife and family? God uses a calling to ministry as an impetus to get us moving. A place to train is very important. A ship in dry dock is impossible to guide, but cast it into the open water and it becomes...

What Will This Cost?

Day 4 When we are new in ministry, we have little insight into the costs. Jesus cautions us to count the cost, but we have little wherewithal to do that. How can we understand disappointment we have never faced? How can we understand the cost of living far away from Mom? How can we understand the challenges of working alongside people who don’t share our understandings? You may face costs in relationships. Years ago, Joyce Landorf  Heatherly wrote a book called Irregular People and it’s always been one of my favorites. Joyce recommended we not pay full price, emotionally, for people who are “irregulars”. Think of stores today like Big Lots, or places where you can save a lot of money on irregulars. When we shop there we hunt for bargains, knowing there may be scratches, dents, or flaws. People we meet have scars and wounds that cause them to act in irregular ways. Trust your...

People See Us Differently Now

Day 3 I am not accustomed to people thinking I am different from them. Are you?  Minister’s wives may as well get used to this misperception, because it is true in their eyes—the people we serve. We know the truth, that we are not different, yet what may be different is our degree of obedience, or our willingness to follow God. I remember my husband’s first pastorate. It was so rural that there were no traffic signal or street signs. Spider webs hung from the church pews and things suffered from neglected. People seemed unduly interested in our meals, our clothes, and our activities. They failed to realize their requests were multiplied by every other person/family of the congregation. They loved us in their own ways, as some delighted in providing for us and giving us special things. Some of those precious people are still friends today. Do you recall a time when you were young, and...

His Call Affects Us

Day 2 Think about Sarai/Sarah today. She was a beautiful woman, and a loyal and devoted wife. When her husband shared God’s call to go, she began packing! How did you respond when it was time to begin your ministry-journey with God? Has the call to ministry begun to affect your life? In what ways? Have you embraced the challenges, or do you hesitate and bargain for something different at every point? My husband’s call to ministry meant selling the first home we ever owned. It meant selling vehicles and using the most economical one we had—an ugly, no-frills paid-for car. It meant leaving my hometown and relocating to an unknown place to live a life that was new to us both—school! It meant living an unfamiliar and uncharted lifestyle. Sarah embraced the S word: she chose to submit. She is the first Biblical example of a woman who obeyed God by submitting to her husband. Sarah joined...

This is All New to Me!

I love that man I married, but his life plans never included being a minister! I never imagined God would or could use two people like us, but He has been molding and changing us recently and I am eager to follow Him. I am thrilled and humbled that God called my husband to ministry. And since we are married, that means changes for my life too! Peek into this unexpected life venture with me. Random thoughts seem to come out of nowhere. Oooh, I've never lived intimately with a minister before! What will that be like? Will our life become sterile and boring? Will he want to preach to me all the time, and never be fun again? Is God certain I can be a minster's wife? I just expected to be his wife. I must confess that my heart swells with joy as I look at this new direction for our lives, and for...