By: Michelle Mundy
You know the drill. We need someone to work nursery. Oh, that’s okay, the pastors’ wife can do it. No one wants to work with the youth. The pastors’ wife. Missions Organization? Pastors’ wife. Lead music, play piano, teach Sunday school, arrange events, cook meals, children’s ministry, work as secretary got it covered; the pastors’ wife can do it.
I have learned, albeit the hard way, that my calling is not one of an unpaid staff member. My first calling is to minister to my husband and family. Then, when God places on my heart an area of ministry, I am free as a member of the church to serve in that area. But there are times when saying “no” doesn’t sound, Christian, especially coming from the pastor’s wife. Loving, Godly church members simply assume you will do it. Gladly and exceptionally I might add.
Let me encourage you in the power of saying “no.”
Saying “no” is not an ungodly answer.
Saying “no” means you recognize your limitations.
For instance, I LOVE my two-year-old grandson, but I am NOT called to work the nursery. It exhausts me and always has, even when my children were small. The ministry that God has called you has the opposite effect. It invigorates you! It excites you and frees up your creativity. Even after pouring yourself into your ministry you come away tired but excited. That’s the difference. Saying “no” allows you to say “yes” to what God has called YOU to do.
I live by the “good, better, best” paradigm. I can do what is good and fill in where needed. I can even do what is better, but I was created for God’s BEST, and so are you. Oh sweet friend, hear me when I say God has his very best for you. In John 10:10b, Jesus states, “I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly.” Sisters this verse is for us. We are called to an abundant life, (John 10:10), but if we are pouring ourselves into areas, we were never meant to serve we are or will become exhausted.
I can hear you even as I write this say, “that’s all nice to hear, but you don’t know my church” or “what about my husband who has to add these things to his schedule if I don’t do them.”
Take a breath and start with baby steps. Pray. Ask God to show you where you can say no.
Please don’t read this and resign from every position you are doing; instead, pray and ask what you can give up in order to seek His Best. Recognize that when we serve in areas God has not called us to we are blocking those who He has called from stepping up. Sometimes a position has to be left unfilled before that happens. Maybe the parents have to care for their children in the sanctuary for a while. Breathe.
I believe as women we all desire to be the Proverbs 31 woman. She is a great mom, businesswoman, friend, and wife. She sleeps rarely and does it all with great finesse. What we fail to recognize is beside that Proverbs 31 woman is a Proverbs 31 man. Encouraging and empowering her to do the BEST God has called her. I will be the first to admit I cannot do it all even though I have a wonderful, encouraging husband by my side. What I can do is pour myself into the ministry God has given me. When I was younger it, was my young family that got the majority of my time and energy. Now it is my ministry/career.
Begin by taking an inventory of your days. Then count the cost. This applies not just to financial issues but to energy as well. Ask God what is draining you of your joy and passion for Him. It could be as simple as a sabbatical from what you are currently doing so you can re-energize. Or it could be you are serving in an area that God has not called you. Seek God’s face and ask the hard questions. God will reveal your ministry.
Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”
Post your comment or sign in for privacy and post here.
Other articles by Michelle: Suffering well! Finish Well! Finding Our Identity! Sending Your Husband
Michelle is passionate about her God, her family, her church, and her ministry where she serves as a Christian Drug and Alcohol Counselor to broken women. She is the proud mother of two grown children and one very active teenager as well as Mimi to a precocious two year old.
Isaiah 61:1 “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, Because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.”
You can check out Contagiousjoy4him & our statement of faith here. We Believe. You can check our Founder and Directors’s speaking schedule here. Find out more about Diane and our writing team.