We connect ministry wives around the globe for the purpose of prayer, encouragement, awareness, accountability, bible study and friendship.

Be You!

An older minister’s wife had come to me right before I was to marry my husband. Trying to be helpful, she gave me a book on how to be a minister’s wife. I was eager to learn! My fiancé and I had been in ministry together for several years, but I knew getting married would mean something entirely new. This woman had been on the front lines with her late husband for many years, so I took note when she spoke. And I assumed this book she had given me was probably the primer for the new life I was about to take on.As I read the book, I became more and more discouraged. The book Written by a more seasoned minister’s wife, her ideas seemed to be from another era and time. You should begin cooking in October for the holidays. You should always have a casserole on hand in case of emergencies. Your children should leave your husband alone for the first 30 minutes he is at home so he can read his paper and relax. Have his slippers ready, too. “Who is this lady?” I thought. There was no way I could be this person. That’s just not me! But, this is what the book said.

When I saw Stewart again after finishing the book, I told him about what I read. His words comforted my soul, “You don’t have to be this person. You be yourself.” Now, that’s something I can do! Yes, I do play the piano, but no, I do not work with children. Freezing meals is just not my thing. And when my husband walks through the door, that is the time we are gabbing each other’s head off about all that happened during the day! I didn’t have to be this person I read about in a book! I can just be me, and that’s exactly who God designed me to be.

Ephesians 2:10 has been one of my favorite verses since I learned something interesting about it. In the Amplified Version, it says, “For we are God’s [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live].” The word “handiwork” or “workmanship” is poema in the Greek. Do you see the word “poem” in there? That’s right, you are God’s poem!

If we study poetry, we learn that there are different kinds of poems. Some are sonnets, some are haikus, some are odes. All poems have different meters and different rhythms. Some rhyme and some don’t. There are dramatic poems filled with suspense. There are poems filled with romance and love. Not one of them is like the other.

It is the same with us ministry wives. We are all different, and that is what God intended! He wrote your life just the way He wanted. He gifted you the way He wanted to, giving you the specific skill set to take the paths He had prepared for you. He has made your journey totally different from the journey of the ministry wife next to you. He made your family different. Don’t try to be someone else! Don’t try to be the last pastor’s wife. Don’t try to be the lady in the book! Be you! That’s the way we live the good life in ministry!

Post a comment below and tell me about your experience at trying to be someone you are not!  Or if you need a private safe place post here . This forum is entitled:  “Seven Things I wish I had known before becoming a Pastors’ Wife”. (you must sign in and be a member of Contagious Joy to enter the safe forum)

Rebecca is a pastor’s wife and mother of two boys; Zachary, 6, and Evan, 2. When she’s not busy with her boys, Rebecca ministers through the College and the Music Ministries of First Baptist Church Pineville, LA. Weekly, she shares her life experiences and lessons through “The One Minute Blog.” Rebecca holds a Bachelors in Music from Louisiana College and two Masters Degrees in Christian Education and Marriage and Family Counseling from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.  See www.contagiousjoy4him.com.


Dr. A July 29, 2015 at 11:01 am Reply

One of the hardest aspects of being myself for me is taking to time to know myself. I have so many messages in my head of others expectations, my expectations based on comparing myself to others, my mom’s voice, my dad’s voice, the latest book’s ideas, etc, that it is very difficult to know myself and my own opinion and desires. With all those messages, it’s even harder to hear God’s voice. Do any others have this same problem? If so, what are some ways you have found to know yourself better?

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